chocolate cake•muffins

Chocolate cake for breakfast?  Wasn't this in a Cosby Show episode?  
Bill feeds the kids cake for breakfast and they all start chanting, "Dad is great!  He gives us chocolate cake!"*
Now Mom's great.  'Cause that's what I just did.

You might say, "Isn't this basically your Insane Chocolate Cake, with some flax meal and almonds mixed in?" 
And I might say, "Don't be ridiculous!"
But really, it is.  
But in all fairness I also cut back the sugar. 
You might also say, "Isn't it a little crazy to feed your kids chocolate cake for breakfast?"
But I say this recipe has some redeeming nutritious elements to it (whole grains, banana, omegas...).  We had these muffins for breakfast with some Greek yogurt, and felt pretty good after that.
And, oddly enough, no one complained...

the (non)veggies:

• 1 1/2 cups white whole wheat flour
• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 cups brown sugar, lightly packed
• 3 TBS flax seed meal
• 2 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp salt
• 3/4 cup cocoa powder
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 2 TBS apple cider vinegar
• 3/4 cup canola oil
• 1 medium banana, mashed
• 2 cups cold water
• 1/2 cup sliced almonds

the love:

1. Preheat your oven to 350° and prep 24 muffins' worth of pans.
2. In a large mixing bowl, combine the flours, brown sugar, flax meal baking soda, salt, and cocoa.  Smash any large lumps of brown sugar with the back of your mixing spoon.
3. Make three holes in the flour mixture, and put the vanilla, vinegar, and oil each in a separate hole.
4. Dump the mashed banana and the water over the top of everything and stir it all together until it's just combined.  Fold in the almonds.
5. Scoop the batter into your prepared pan and bake for about a half hour, or until a toothpick inserted in the middle of a muffin comes out clean.
6. Serve for breakfast, a snack, dessert-- whenever really-- and prepare for cheers.

*I couldn't find the Cosby Show clip, but here's a hilarious classic Bill Cosby standup clip about chocolate cake for breakfast: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRmN4KnfPxQ

rich chocolate•pudding

This may be terrible timing for posting a chocolate recipe-- right after Valentine's day. 
But if you're anything like me all those heart-shaped chocolates only whet your appetite for more chocolate.
And, in my defense, I actually did try to make this chocolate pudding that I saw on Pinterest on Valentine's day, but it came out gritty from the dates.  We still gobbled it down, but I knew a few tweaks would make it even better.  It also needed to be a bigger batch...
So, as if all those left-over chocolate hearts I ate today did not fulfill my chocolate quota, I experimented with it again tonight.
And I think I've figured it out.

I saved the dates for other things (like my breakfast bars), and substituted banana and maple syrup instead.  Add a pinch of salt and some vanilla for a little extra flavor, and it's even more delicious and still pretty healthy.  
It takes all of about three minutes to whip up, and is incredibly decadent and satisfying.  So, toss the rest of those foil-wrapped hearts (or, on second thought, just save them for tomorrow) and get out the avocados--  this is much more of a treat and is probably better for you.
It also makes an awesome goatee...

the veggies (or technically, fruits, etc):

• 1 banana, peeled (obviously)
• 1 avocado, pitted and peeled
• 1/2 cup cocoa powder
• 1/2 cup pure maple syrup
• a pinch of salt
• 1 TBS vanilla extract
• 2 to 6 TBS water

the love:

1. Combine all ingredients except water in a blender or food processor and blend until smooth.
2. Add as much water as needed to reach a smooth, pudding-like texture.
3. Chill before serving, if desired-- but you probably don't want to leave this in the fridge for too long because avocados and bananas can both get kinda funky after a while once they're mashed or blended, and also because husbands and kids can't be trusted around chocolate desserts left unattended... 

chocolate•almond granola

Oliver's at the age (between about 20 months and 48 months), where it's best not to take him to the grocery store.  About half the time it goes just fine, and the other half it goes terribly wrong.  Once when Owen was Oliver's age he knocked over an entire (rickety) cardboard display of canned clams.  Of all things.  Who eats those anyway, and why do they need a whole display of them in the middle of the aisle?  Owen wasn't being bad-- just being your typical clumsy toddler.  I wasn't really mad at him-- just really embarrassed.  I was a little mad at Safeway, though, for trying so hard to sell canned clams.
When I do take Oliver to the store these days, I often belt him into one of those giant carts with the car on front (despite how hard they are to steer), and I usually even get him the free cookie from the bakery department.  This combination of strategies often works for about half my grocery list, then it gets difficult.  He's soon hanging out the side of his car, trying to wiggle out of his belt (why don't those things have five-point harnesses, like in real cars?), hollering "wanna walk!"  The only way to stop the hollering is to let him out of the cart.  But, as I learned with Owen and the clams, letting a toddler walk through the grocery store is not always a good idea...
So anyway, I usually try to go to the store either at the beginning of the week when both kids are in school, or on weekends when Brock's there to stay home with the kids (because Brock's almost as hard to take to the grocery store as my little boys).  But when we ran out of cereal (except for a box of Grape Nuts no one will eat) mid-week this week, I nearly panicked.  We are highly dependent upon cereal for breakfast.  
Then I remembered I used to make granola all the time.  And when I started making some this time I remembered how easy it is to make-- which is why I used to make it all the time.  This time I was feeling indulgent, so I made it chocolate.   It's really chocolatey, but not too sweet-- just how I like my chocolate.  Less than 24 hours after completing the batch, I've got about a serving left in the bottom of the jar.  I guess that means my guys liked it, too.

After I made the granola, it turned out I had to run to the store anyway to get some things for another recipe I'm working on for this blog.  This time I got lucky and the trip was uneventful.  But, I hope you're grateful I risked potential canned clam grocery store havoc for you...


the veggies (or other stuff):

• 3 cups rolled oats
• 1 cup Grape Nuts and/or puffed grains*
• 1 cup sliced almonds
• 1/2 cup cocoa
• 1/4 cup ground flax seed
• 1/2 cup shredded coconut (optional)
• 1/2 cup canola oil
• 1/2 cup honey
• 2 tsp vanilla
• 1 tsp almond extract
• 1/4 cup water**
• 1/2 cup craisins (optional)***

the love:

1. Preheat your oven to 325° and line your largest baking pan with parchment (or lightly grease).
2. In a bowl, combine the oats, Grape Nuts or puffed grains, almonds, cocoa, flax seed, and coconut (if using).
3. Add the oil, honey, extracts and water, and stir well until evenly combined.
4. Spread the oat mixture out evenly on your baking pan and bake for 30 to 35 minutes, stirring every five to ten minutes.  The oats will still be a little soft when you first remove them from the oven, but will turn crunchy as they cool.
5. Stir in the craisins, if you're using them.
6. Let cool completely before storing in an airtight container.  This makes about eight cups.

notes:
*I was at the grocery store a while back looking for a different kind of healthy cereal, and momentarily forgetting that Grape Nuts are gross (on their own, anyway), bought a giant box of them.  It's been sitting around, not getting eaten and begging to be used in a recipe ever since.  It turns out this recipe is perfect-- they add a nice sturdy crunch to the granola.  If you don't want to buy Grape Nuts for this (and I don't blame you), I've also used puffed grains (such as brown rice or kamut) a lot in granola.  The puffs impart a lighter, chewier texture to granola.  Both are nice.
**I also think this recipe would be good with espresso or strong coffee instead of the water, but I didn't try it, figuring my kids did not need to be caffeinated...
***I didn't use craisins this time, only because I didn't have any.  They would definitely be tasty in this, though.

frozen key lime yogurt•pie

I almost hate to admit this, but I still have a suitcase in my bedroom with a few things in it from our trip to Florida in December.  Maybe it's just that I don't need those things in the mountains in January.  Lord knows we're not wearing shorts.  Or swimsuits, for that matter-- I've sworn off taking the kids swimming at the rec center after a mortifying incident a couple months ago when Oliver's swim diaper leaked and they had to shut down the entire pool.
Or, maybe I leave the suitcase there because it makes me think of sunny, warm Florida every time I see it there, gathering dust on the bedroom floor.
There's a chance that half-empty suitcase inspired this pie.

Shortly after we returned home, Owen came home from preschool with this:

In the event that you're not an expert at interpreting abstract preschool art, in the drawing is an airplane (the cross at the bottom) flying from our house (bottom left) to Grandma and Papa's house (to the right), the beach with sand and water (top leftish), and the pool (far right).  Now it's obvious, right?  

This picture really is a good summary of what the kids do (and look forward to) in Florida, but I have some different favorites.  The beach and pool are definitely nice, but I really enjoy the down-time spent with family, the almost daily bike rides to Starbuck's during nap time, and, of course, the Key lime pie.

I've gone on a trip to Florida with my family every winter of my life, and for as long as I can remember, Key lime pie-tasting has been a big part of our trips.  We all have our favorite variations-- my mom likes the traditional crust and I prefer graham cracker-- but, we all like it tart.  The best variation I've had, though, is one Brock and I came across in Key West.  At any number of places along Duval Street, you can buy a piece of frozen key lime pie on a stick that's been coated in dark chocolate.  It's as good as it sounds-- we ate a lot of those on that trip...

In homage to that Key West specialty, as well as the suitcase sitting on my bedroom floor, I bring you my Frozen Key Lime Yogurt Pie.  This version is healthier than most, as it's made with honey and greek yogurt.  It's also much easier to make than most, with no baking or cooking involved.

Now that I've got some Key lime pie in the freezer, maybe I can go unpack that suitcase.

Eh, we'll see...

the veggies (or, non-veggies, as the case may be):

• 1/2 cup margarine (or butter), melted
• 10 whole graham cracker sheets
• 1 1/2 cups plain greek yogurt
• 1/3 cup Key lime juice
• 3/4 cup honey
• 2 tsp vanilla
• 1/2 cup chocolate chips

the love:

1. While your margarine is melting, use a food processor to process the graham crackers into fine crumbs.*
2. Add the melted margarine to the crumbs and pulse the food processor until they're combined.
3. Firmly press the buttery crumbs into the bottom of a pie plate and up the sides.  Store the crust in the freezer until you're ready to fill it.
4. Give your processor pitcher a quick rinse, shake out any excess water, and reassemble.  We'll use it to make the filling, too: add the yogurt, juice, honey and vanilla and process until smooth.**
5. Pour the filling into the crust and freeze until solid, about three or four hours.
6. Once the filling is frozen, melt the chocolate in a double boiler or microwave.***
7. Use a small spoon (or pastry bag?) to drizzle chocolate in thin threads onto the pie. Be careful not to get too thick of globs (like some of the thicker spots on my pie), as they're hard to cut through and eat once frozen.****
8. Put the pie in the freezer another 10 minutes or so until the chocolate is solid, or until you're ready slice it and eat it.

notes:

*Low-tech method: crush the crackers in a baggie, then stir together the crumbs and margarine right in the pie plate.

**Low-tech method: whisk filling ingredients together in a bowl.

***I use a bowl that fits tightly over a small saucepan of hot water: heat the water to a simmer first, then remove from heat and place the bowl on top, making sure the water isn't high enough to touch the bowl.  Stir constantly until the chocolate is melted.  In the microwave, heat just a few seconds at a time, stirring between heating.

****When I first made this pie, I melted a full cup of chocolate chips and found that was way too much chocolate.  If, like me, you end up with chocolate left over, scramble to find something to dip in it (graham crackers, pieces of cereal, your husband's toothbrush), then place the random objects on parchment and harden in the fridge after dipping.

(Sorry, Mo.  Chocolate's not good for doggies...)

insane•chocolate cake

While things at my house often feel a little insane (thus is the nature of living with energetic young boys), that is not the namesake of this cake.  The original recipe for this has been around for as long as I can remember, and came to me from my mom.  I think she may have gotten it from her mom.  It was originally called "Crazy Chocolate Cake", but I've done a few things to it that make it even less mentally stable, so to speak.

For instance, some people might think adding whole wheat flour to a cake is a little nuts, but that's just how I do things.

Doubling the chocolate in an already chocolatey recipe might seem a bit crazed, but that's how I like my cake.

Skipping the frosting on a cake may come across as slightly wacko, but I personally think frosting would just ruin this one.

The method of mixing the batter also seems a touch loco, but I'm just being faithful to the original recipe on that count.

In any case, this cake is insanely good-- moist, dense, dark-- and crazy-easy to make...

the (non)veggies:*

• 1 1/2 cups white whole wheat flour
• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 cups brown sugar, lightly packed
• 2 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 cup cocoa powder
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 2 TBS apple cider vinegar
• 3/4 cup canola oil
• 1 medium banana, mashed
• 2 cups cold water
• powdered sugar, for dusting (optional)

the love:

1. Preheat your oven to 350° and prep a 9-inch bundt pan (or a 9x13-inch cake pan).
2. In a large mixing bowl, combine the flours, brown sugar, baking soda, salt and cocoa.  Smash any large lumps of brown sugar with the back of your mixing spoon.
3. Make three holes in the flour mixture, and put the vanilla, vinegar, and oil each in a separate hole (but don't ask me why).
4. Dump the mashed banana and the water over the top of everything and stir it all together until it's just combined.
5. Pour into your prepared pan and bake for about an hour (or closer to 40 minutes if you're using a flat pan), or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.
6. Let the cake cool in the bundt pan for a few minutes before carefully inverting it onto a plate.
7. Dust the cake with powdered sugar once it's cool, or serve with a scoop of ice cream, chopped pecans, a drizzle of dark chocolate syrup, and/or berries...  Go nuts.

tip:

*Of all the things I've done to this recipe, I've never bothered to adjust it for altitude.  Somehow, it still comes out great (I know, crazy).  So, anyway, unlike with most of my baking recipes you probably won't have to re-adjust this one if you live at a lower elevation.